The way musicians can see rhythm
And painters can feel colors
The thoughts I have just before bed
They are poems in my head
Red Zone
It’s difficult to peel my skin from yours
To keep my words to myself
And contain my heart like a balloon
Because as I expose myself to love
It’s known that
Equally pain will come
I know what I want
But I see how dangerous it is
Spring
Flowers are coloring themselves in
And the wind is blowing love songs through my hair
I’m free
My heart exposed
I lost you
But I’m falling in love with myself
Empty Spaces
I wake up with the sunrise
And fall asleep to the rain
I’ve started taking naps again
And showering alone
Yet all I have left
Are these thoughts
That I turn into poems
How Your Mind Is Like A House
Your mind is a place full of thoughts. Your consciousness controls the weight of each thought and has the power to change them. But can it control which thoughts are produced? There are many factors: your subconscious, patterns and behaviors you learned in childhood, your traumas, your experiences, the outside world, drugs, and alcohol. Life comes at you in good and bad ways and your mind processes it and stores it.
If you were wronged, it is not your fault. But it is your responsibility to deal with it.
If your mind is like a house then all your negative experiences are like clutter. It is easy to have the clutter and shove it in a corner. It is easy to ignore the clutter by leaving your house. When you are working, involved in an activity or hanging out with friends, you leave your house. You leave the inside of your mind and focus on your outside experience. When you drink, smoke, or do drugs, you escape your mind as well.
The less time you spend inside your mind, the more the clutter builds. The more the clutter builds, the more you feel like you need to escape it. Mess is uncomfortable. It is not pleasant to be inside a dirty house with trash, dirt, and things thrown around. You don’t want to be there. When you see the mess, it is overwhelming. Where do I start? Just like when your real house or your room is messy, you rather ignore it than spend the time organizing and doing laundry.
How to be a Tourist in Srinagar
W H A T ‘ S I T L I K E ? –
Srinagar is a bustling yet laid back city in Northern India. I understood the locals to be friendly, hospitable, and open. They understand the earning potential of tourism, so visitors are treated with respect and kindness in hopes that positive word will spread to other travelers.
The city is made of cement and metal with Dal Lake as the centerpiece. There is constant beeping and driving commotion. Men and women are typically dressed in traditional loose-fitting kaftans and pants. Most locals are Muslim. Some women may be seen draped from head, including veils over the eyes, to ankles in black shawls. There are also women who expose their hair, but legs and shoulders are always concealed with loose-fitting clothing.
Within the city, men can be found going about their business. Women primarily stay inside the house cooking, taking care of the young ones, and ensuring the household runs efficiently. Still, some women were seen roaming the streets alone. Locals remain close to their traditions and, as a result, creates an authenticity, free from the corruption of other over-saturated touristic cities in India.
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10 Things That Surprised Me About Chiang Mai
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There are more expats and foreigners here than I imagined
Well, the secret is out. Northern Thailand is a paradise. And every other foreigner is either living here or visiting. There have been many instances where I have been out and about and there have been more white people than Thais. Many of the amazing restaurants (vegan, Italian, Israeli, etc.) are run by foreigners and usually their Thai wife or Thai business partner. As a result, the format of the city has been diluted with foreign influence. Chiang Mai is a multicultural place and sometimes you forget that you are in Thailand.
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The city is touristy
For some reason, I expected Chiang Mai to be a sleepy city. I read that it was progressive and laid back. I pictured lots of empty roads, hidden nature-scapes, and locals roaming around quietly. Instead, it is a bustling, growing city that has evolved to cater to its visitors. Downtown, prices for restaurants, bars, shops, tuk-tuks, and even markets are raised because of the influx of tourists. There are a lot of people everywhere. You can take any tour imaginable… For example: bathe elephants, hike to a waterfall, take a cooking class, go zip-lining through the jungle, and so on. Now, I live outside the city to avoid the tourists and the tourist prices.
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Almost everyone speaks English
With tourism comes accommodation, comfort, and ease for the tourists. Tourists are more likely to come to a place where they know that they can experience something foreign without a communication barrier. Many Thais have realized that they can find more opportunities and success if they speak English. Some Thais are also very interested in talking with foreigners or maybe they want to be in a relationship with one. English is spoken and written just about everywhere. So much so that it has been difficult for me to pick up Thai because I can easily communicate in English.
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Thai is easier to learn than you think
Many foreigners who live in Chiang Mai do not know Thai. They say it is difficult to learn because of the tones and how different it is structured from their own language. Part of immersing yourself in a new place is learning their language. I know many other foreigners who have picked up Thai because they force themselves to hang out with only Thais. You can easily take Thai language classes, higher a tutor, or immerse yourself more. With Thais, you usually have to be more outgoing at first, but they are very welcoming people. Just try it!
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Dealing with Immigration is complex and confusing
One of the worst parts about living in Thailand is dealing with immigration. Bureaucracy, in general, is a hassle. When dealing with visas and all the other things that come along with it, make sure that you are on the ball. Constantly check in with the people, schools, or companies that are helping you get a visa. Rules change all the time and you have to be proactive. You will likely have to deal with a lot of annoying tasks that could have been avoided if you were more informed. It is so annoying, but that is the reality of having the privilege of living in Thailand.
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Police Checks
There are police checks in downtown Chiang Mai and other parts outside the city on the way to other places (like Pai). They begin in the late morning and end in the early afternoon (usually). The police are checking for helmets and Thai licenses. If you are not following the rules, they will charge you 500 baht and give you a ticket. If police charge you less and don’t give you a ticket, that’s a bribe. Make sure you get a written ticket. Yes, they absolutely target foreigners. It is annoying, but just follow the rules or avoid the checkpoints.
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Alcohol can get expensive
Food, housing, transportation, water, electricity, and gas are cheap cheap cheap! But, if you drink, it can add up. For example, a plate of street food can cost around $1 USD and a large beer can cost up to $3 USD. For some, alcohol is medicine. Cut alcohol costs by buying from 7-11 or a little mom and pop convenience store. If you buy drinks at a restaurant or a bar, prices are doubled and tripled.
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There are A LOT of bugs and lizards
I know there are a lot of lizards because I have to sweep away their poop on my balcony all the time. And, also, how can I ignore their very loud mating calls at night? Rain brings flying termites that are obsessed with lights and they will show up in swarms of hundreds and thousands. Hundreds of ants will come marching in if you leave a single crumb. Once, there were hundreds of termites that birthed from my wooden stair. I told my landlord and she chalked it up to rainy season and said mai pen rai (it’s ok / don’t worry). Thais are way less fazed by bugs than me. I have become my own hero, even killing spiders and roaches with my bare hands. This is the price I pay for living in the jungle.
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You can get anything you need
Thailand is not a third world country. There is a wonderful grocery store called Rimping. They are all over the city. You can get any snack or foreign food item here because they are stocked with imports. Yes, it is a bit more expensive than going somewhere local. Big C has any basic item as well, like a Walmart. You can find what you need anywhere in the city. I am always looking for special herbs, vitamins, holistic medications and toiletries, even organic produce and I have it all here. If anyone has ever wanted what you need, it probably exists somewhere.
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Chiang Mai sucks you in
People have asked me: why do you live in Chiang Mai? Well, I have always wanted to go to Asia and Chiang Mai was my first stop. And I never left. I ran out of money, found a great job as a teacher, felt comfortable, and fell in love with a guy. One way or another, Chiang Mai will embrace you with all its wonders and comforts and you won’t want to leave either. Come experience it for yourself!
Alone
Half the time I’m alone at night
But this time
I was barefoot
On the marsh
When the sky dimmed to 3am
Smoke dripped
From my mouth
Nothing there
To carry it away
Only a few stars
Showed up
And the Moon
Was too shy
To see through the clouds
How To Garden Secrets
Sick flutters enslave me
To a slow pain
That feels like joy
They are anxieties
Hiding in corners of sleepy shadows
They are dark lyrics
Sloshing behind my teeth
So I plant them in the dirt
And let flowers bloom
Out of my throat
Because it is better to grow
Than pluck buttercups
A Guide to Finding Yourself
If you feel darker than a storm
Expose the tulips
If the petals are like rotten velvet
Let rain silk your throat
If you cannot swallow
Let your guts overflow
To greet the mud
If the puddle does not sway
Splash until there’s mess