Half the time I’m alone at night
But this time
I was barefoot
On the marsh
When the sky dimmed to 3am
Smoke dripped
From my mouth
Nothing there
To carry it away
Only a few stars
Showed up
And the Moon
Was too shy
To see through the clouds
Half the time I’m alone at night
But this time
I was barefoot
On the marsh
When the sky dimmed to 3am
Smoke dripped
From my mouth
Nothing there
To carry it away
Only a few stars
Showed up
And the Moon
Was too shy
To see through the clouds
Sick flutters enslave me
To a slow pain
That feels like joy
They are anxieties
Hiding in corners of sleepy shadows
They are dark lyrics
Sloshing behind my teeth
So I plant them in the dirt
And let flowers bloom
Out of my throat
Because it is better to grow
Than pluck buttercups
If you feel darker than a storm
Expose the tulips
If the petals are like rotten velvet
Let rain silk your throat
If you cannot swallow
Let your guts overflow
To greet the mud
If the puddle does not sway
Splash until there’s mess
The following poem was inspired by a Serial Killer.
I hack
And slice and chop
Like a kid
Syrup sliding down my wrist
Power sponged in the creases
I tell them to stop dripping their tears
On my cement floor
And clawing for their life
As I lure it away
Time wavers
Their eyes drip into clouds
Nothing left inside
The moment dissolves
As I shiver
With blood love
Why did you float away
Through the tips of my skin
Leaving me with nothing
But logical thoughts?
Why do I align perfectly
Inside square boxes
Without any swerves
Or ticklish spots?
Make it stop because
My mind cannot conform
Or it will rot!
Below the trees is where I lay–
I wished to float free like the autumn leaves,
And gently live among the crisp fall breeze.
Here, confusion escaped me with relief,
And my troubles misplaced like snow-covered keys.
As the moon faded away the day,
I began to stray.
If I wait for you to call me I’ll never hear from you
But when you’re here you’re too much
And I pray for you to go away
To leave
To not exist
This is hard
Love is hard
It makes you question whether this is even love
Because its painful
And you never get what you want
I am sick
So sick
I am sick I am sick
I want more
But why can I not be happy with what I already have?
Which is myself
The following prose is inspired by remarks from my astrological birth chart.
She is free.
She does what she wants and does it without fear.
Her mind is on fire and her emotions overflowing.
She savors her solitude more than the average person might,
It is all about balance with her
She seeks the middle path—
Collapsing if she sways too far to one side.
In love, she is intense.
Her emotions are raw, screaming vibrations from her soul.
She is indifferent or passionately in love, there is no in between.
She needs some one who is daring and energetic enough to keep up with her.
She attracts darkness and adventures
But needs some one who could provide her with stability–
Her opposite, some one to balance her out.
This is my leech
I love him and I hate him
He never leaves me
He lives right on my chest, right above my heart
Everyday he gets fatter and fatter
With my blood––
And I get weaker and weaker
I try to pull him off but he says no
Let me stay he begs
His little leech teeth are buried deep in my skin
It made me laugh
And reminded me of you
I wanted to tell you
I wanted to share it with my best friend
But we are not close anymore
We keep our worlds to ourselves
I am not supposed to miss you
I am not supposed to wish
To hear your laugh
To let your voice seduce me
To think about how you smell…