• Ready For Cake

    I tasted a tear and there wasn’t even salt inside
    I’m so tired of crying
    Burning and itching
    Heart bitten

    I argued with myself like a teenager
    You are going to regret this
    But I have to make sure
    I have to check for a pulse one more time

    I continue
    Come on it’s dead
    That false puff of air
    I love to love dead things

    I’m becoming crazy
    Wild and reckless
    Like I always do
    it doesn’t surprise me anymore
    As I watch myself go mad

    It’s becoming my ritual
    To shiver and bleed
    As I slice up the cake

    The knife is in my hand
    As I press on the frosting
    I wish I knew where to collect the strength
    To cut all the way through

  • How To Find A Meditation That Works For You

    When we think of meditation, we visualize a monk sitting, legs folded, eyes closed, silent, sitting still. We think that he is in complete peace, his thoughts have ceased, and he’s not bothered by the flies and mosquitoes. His legs aren’t asleep and his back isn’t aching. From the outside, we think meditation is bliss. But when we try meditation on our own, we feel nothing like this.

    Meditation is not all peace and enlightenment. It is learning to get comfortable being uncomfortable, being in pain, and training the mind through consciousness. It’s a practice. Some days you will succeed and some days you will have a difficult time. But as long as you are trying, you will receive the benefits.

    There are an infinite number of ways to meditate. So, don’t feel discouraged thinking that you are just limited to sitting in silence. You can . . .

    • Lay down on your back (But not recommended in the morning because you have been laying down all night while you were sleeping)
    • Concentrate on breathing in and out slowly
    • Count in your head
    • Concentrate on a color
    • Walk slowly and mindfully around the room/anywhere
    • Listen to music – any music! From Nirvana to Beethoven
    • Listen to nature – the ocean, a stream, the wind, birds
    • Dance (Look up Osho meditations)
    • Sew, Stitch, Macrame (Or any other repetitive motion)
    • Cook or bake
    • Draw a mandala
    • Color – there are adult coloring books
    • Sing a mantra (I recommend the Gayatri Mantra)
    • Create your own mantra and repeat in your head or out loud or even write it out – For example, “I am grateful” or “I am deserving of love”
    • Listen to a guided meditation on Youtube
    • Try Yoga Nidra
    • Try Qi Gong

    If you choose to sit or lay down in silence, feel free to use pillows or sit against a wall to make yourself comfortable. Meditation has no rules and you have to find what works for you. And, when you feel pain or discomfort, be mindful of it and see how long you can last without moving or giving up.

    Going to a meditation group can also be helpful because it forces you to stay with the practice. The group energy keeps everyone together and gives you the strength to keep going and maintain. Also, you can make new friends!

    The easiest time to meditate is after the body has been moving and exerting itself. This is why we go into Savasana at the end of a yoga class. Working the body allows more space for the mind to calm down. So, no matter your physical practice, try to take 5 minutes to sit still at the end. If you’re having trouble finding stillness, do 20 jumping jacks and try again.

    Meditation allows us the space to stop and just exist. To be one with ourselves and the universe. When we give ourselves this time and space, we can remove blockages, we can hear our intuition, we can feel the feelings we were repressing, and we can release tension and de-stress. It is easy for our mind to be a tangled web. Meditation teaches us that things don’t have to be so messy and cloudy. Actually, life is simple. We are blessed to be alive and to experience life. Not all experiences will be pleasurable and meditation can teach us how to accept the unpleasant and even appreciate it.

  • Nothing Can

    Nothing can be perfect
    Or stay forever lasting
    But what about the embers
    At the bottom of the fire pit
    Or all the sand
    That sleeps below the waves
    I’ll stay as long as I can

  • Backseat

    The rain locked us together
    As the fog hung around the mountain trees
    The sky reflected in your eyes
    And I couldn’t believe
    How easy it was to be with you

  • Farewell

    Thank you
    You’ve played with my heart
    You’ve burned my skin
    And suffocated my lungs
    With heat
    With warmth
    The rain started falling
    And I couldn’t go anywhere
    We can’t speak all the time
    But we smile together
    You’ve surprised me
    After all you’ve taken from me
    And pushed me down
    Tossed me around
    I noticed the flowers that you laid out for me
    Go find another heart
    To steal
    Feed them dragon fruit
    And show them the sleepy alleys with graffiti
    It’s true
    I fall in love with you more everyday
    Our bond thickening
    With every second
    My feet are planted on your floor
    But since I have you
    I don’t want you
    Chiang Mai
    I’ve outgrown you
    Thank you
    Chiang Mai
    I’m letting you go
    I want something different
    Oceans not mountains
    Islands not traffic

  • Night

    I am a creature of the night
    A slimy alien
    Laughing on the moon
    I found true love
    Only to watch it disappear
    Behind a mountain
    I can’t see without the light
    But my eyes are adjusting
    I’m a bat now
    Living in a cave of dripping drops
    With crystals hidden inside the layers
    The moon will roll over the mountains again
    The darkness is my home again

  • The Formula

    There will be good days and bad days
    You can calculate them
    With a probability formula
    A pros and cons list
    And decide whether to stay or let go
    Or you can turn up the
    Frequencies of your soul
    Follow the music
    And go where it wants you to grow

  • Weight

    He’s on my mind again
    Like a calm dark ocean
    Ice freezing over the roof

    He’s on my mind
    Like a weight

    Because I’m holding my breath
    Exhale

  • Wild Rose

    Sometimes I think I made a mistake
    I was too much of a thorn
    Instead of the rose
    When my mind wanders
    To the forrest
    There is cracked soil
    Moss growing over the tree roots
    And he’s sitting there
    Not even thinking of me

  • What is Yoga?

    Common Yoga Aversions

    When I encourage people to try yoga or explain that I am a yoga teacher, the most common response is: “I can’t do yoga because I am not flexible.” This is like me saying, “I can’t play basketball because I am not 6 feet tall,” or “I can’t run because I have poor stamina.” It does not mean that we cannot participate in these activities, but, perhaps, we don’t have the natural talents or luxurious tools. Some people were born tall and others naturally flexible. One of the beauties of yoga is that the only equipment required is your body. This includes disabled bodies, overweight bodies, bodies of all skin colors, sick bodies, healthy bodies, all bodies.

    So when I hear this response, I view it as an excuse. A misconception. Yoga is not only for flexible people. Developing a flexible body is a result of practicing. So is strength and balance.

    Unite the Mind-Body-Spirit

    Yoga translates as union. It is a union between your body and mind. Between your spirit and the universal energy. Ancient Indian texts describe it as the coming into being and the ceasing to be.

    We move our body to the flow of our breath. We are not meant to think about the laundry or work or our date tonight. We are thinking about our lungs inhaling and exhaling air. We are observing the present moment through sensations and physical assessments.

    The path to the mind-body connection is through managing our thoughts and impulses. For example, concentration is required when we are upside down, balancing in a headstand. Discipline is required while we are holding our body in Warrior II. We teach our hips to relax in pigeon pose by mentally directing our muscles to soften while intentionally slowing the pace of the breath.

    Intimacy With Your Body’s Boundaries

    Each time we practice, the state of our mind and body may be different. Where is the threshold today and is it right to push it? Perhaps only a millimeter forward is appropriate. Perhaps we don’t push it at all. Only you know what is best for your body.

    Yoga is listening to the body and the mind, instead of reacting. It is surrendering. Letting go. Relaxing. Fighting. Breathing. Releasing. Existing. Healing. You can learn a lot about yourself by getting on the mat for one hour a day. The practice of focusing on the movement of the body, breathing, and being present leads to positive mental and physical health outcomes.

    Practice, Not Perfection

    Your mind may wander. You may experience frustration. You may feel uncomfortable. Thus, we refer to its application as a yoga practice, not yoga perfection. Maintain consistency as the drops of bliss that you may feel at times will turn into liters. What you cultivate and build on the mat spreads to the rest of your everyday life.