If I wait for you to call me I’ll never hear from you
But when you’re here you’re too much
And I pray for you to go away
To leave
To not exist

This is hard
Love is hard
It makes you question whether this is even love
Because its painful
And you never get what you want

I am sick
So sick
I am sick I am sick
I want more
But why can I not be happy with what I already have?
Which is myself

I love myself most days
But it would be nice to be with some one
To see in their eyes
That they love you more than you love yourself
That is powerful
That will make you feel something

But only for a second
And then you become dependent
And hungry for more
So starving
That one day it might not be good enough
And you are left high and dry and dead and lonely
Still existing with numbness on your face
So bored you can’t even wish for a better life
But I really do like you
And I like it when we talk
Except there is something happening that isn’t quite right
We repel each other
Like slippery messes who can’t stick together

I do not know what to say anymore.
I still wish for you to call me
But if you did
I would call you a stalker behind your back
And tell my friends the story like I am totally fine without you
Because I am
Except there are some days
When I want you back
But the majority of the week
I convince myself
I’ve quit you for good this time

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