• Girl, They Don’t Know Your Worth

    Girl, They Don’t Know Your Worth

    LISTEN
    I promise you
    That it is getting better
    Imagine driving
    Thinking
    Daydreaming
    In LOVE
    And realize
    You are HAPPY
    And not only happy
    But straight BLESSED
    Whoever hurt you
    Is waking up today
    At the same time
    Realizing
    How much better it used to be
    When you were around
    Because GIRL
    You are the light
    The lavender fields
    And volcano sunsets
    That keep the rest of us going
    You are hope
    And don’t you waste ANY time
    Feeling sad about people
    Who are infested with demons
    Who are BLIND
    To your shine
    You helped them more than you know
    But now
    It’s time for you
    To
    Step
    Into
    Your
    POWER

    I was literally driving today on my way to teach yoga and realized that my present is so much better than my past. I was so happy that I felt bitter because of how I had allowed myself to be subjected to such low frequencies.

    I kept saying yes to the wrong people and getting tangled up in the wrong situations over and over again. Until I hit the lowest of the lows: the breaking point: the self intervention: the collapse into despair.

    It has been one year of processing through my own shit that was triggered, realizing that I am worth much more than the people around me were treating me as and saying NO over and over again because I am not going to take whatever I can get. I want the best of the best. And it has arrived.

    This poem was inspired by things people have said to me, things I’ve said to myself, and things I want to say to any woman whose worth has not been fully realized by the people around her.

    Stay blessed x

  • Karmic Love

    Spiders are crawling out of my eyes. There are cactuses knotted in my hair. I haven’t showered in 6 days. There’s food on the floor and daddy roaches are slithering around for scraps. I saw an ant get eaten by another ant. I’m dreaming about sucking on your tongue and swallowing your morning breath. I’m nasty filthy longing for you. I thought you would stay, but all you do is walk away.

  • The Two Seedlings

    It was a thoroughly confusing time. We felt so lost. It became dark and it was difficult to see the string that held our hearts together. We didn’t know how to navigate without breaking apart. Without hurting each other.

    There were some things that were necessary for us to realize. But we had to do it apart.

    It caused a lot of pain. But the pain taught us something. We learned how to grow into our own spirit.

    So, we grew like seeds and broke through the dirt despite all that weighed us down. And, now, we are blossoming. Now, we have even deeper roots to ground us.

    We are each other’s sun and rain. We help each other.

    Finally, we are finding our way back to intertwine. It is a special feeling to know that the storm has passed and we are side by side again. To know that no matter the damage, nothing can stop what is meant to be.

    We are stronger together, but, now, we know how strong we can be on our own too.

  • Love

    I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my entire life!
    And I have to pretend like I don’t want it!
    Because every time I ask
    I get another stab
    Or hand around my neck
    You are not my companion
    You are my murderer

  • Poems For My Ex

    Preface

    For all the pain that you see in my writing, know that I experienced two-fold the amount of love and happiness. Relationships are beautiful because they cause you to feel. Break-ups are amazing because you can turn every inch of suffering into wisdom and growth. This is my third major break-up. It’s funny because we always ask why is this happening and believe that that person was our one true soulmate. I think so, but we have more than one. And, always, the next one we meet is better than the last. I’m walking alone again and it feels right. I’ve finally reached that place where I am not looking back on the past so much, longing, or questioning. I am healing. I have written so much about this break up as it has put gasoline on my creative fire. So, to my ex, thank you, I love you, and I release you.
    Here are 8 of my favorite pieces:

    #1

    The most painful memory is the one where I had my arms wrapped around your neck. Looking up at you because you’re so tall and you said to me while the music hummed behind your voice that you wanted to be with me forever. I love your eyes and kissing you. Your words were the glow that brightened the fact that I wasn’t just building a house, I was building a sky scraper in my heart. But slowly you began removing the doors, then the windows, the stairs, and all the metal. Leaving only a pile of crumbled cement. That fleeting moment of love, labeled with eternal, revealed itself to be just a story of how a great big tower came to be destroyed.

    #2

    I’ve spent so much time wishing
    For a cloud in the sky
    A ghost in the attic
    But truly
    I don’t want storms
    Or to be hauntedRead More

  • What My Failed Relationship Has Taught Me

    I recently ended a relationship with some one I was completely in love with. The failure of the relationship was not because we did not love each other, but because we did not love ourselves. He had some heavy personal things to sort through. And I chose a person who was not fully available to me. Our bond, the glue that was holding us together, crumbled before us and we just stood there knowing there was nothing to be done. Our life paths were not going side by side anymore. The road forked and I had to watch my lover veer off. He is my soulmate–a feeling of comfort and familiarity washes over me when we are together, we have a simultaneous friendship and chemistry. Its sad to see him go, but I know I will see him again in another life. And I also know that I have more than one soulmate.

    I remember our final conversation saying “I just want to help you.” I wanted to give and give and do anything I could to ease his suffering. He said: “You can’t. I need to do this on my own.” And I agreed. Its so difficult to see the one’s you love drowning in their own self-inflicted pain. You think with the right advice and therapies that you can help them. But it is impossible. Each person is on their own path. Each person deals with trauma in their own way. Each person develops in their own time. Step 4 for you might be step 76 for another person. You have to grow in your own way, on your own. Sometimes the couple can grow together, but for all human souls it is necessary to give yourself time to grow on your own.

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  • Why Do I Feel Guilty? – H O M E S I C K N E S S

    You want to see the world, but that means leaving the people you love, your comforts, stability, familiarity, and routines. For me, this is exactly the reason to explore new horizons: for the change, excitement, and novelty. In fact, new places and new people draw me away.

    There have been many instances where homesickness has seeped into my blood stream. Usually when things aren’t going smoothly or there is something exciting going on at home. Please note, difficult times always pass, holidays and birthdays pass, and home becomes boring again. Everything changes.

    I have three younger brothers: ages 5, 8, and 19 years old. I am the oldest sister, but I am never around. I am always half way across the world. The 19-year-old and I mostly communicate to each other by sending memes on Instagram. I can’t even directly communicate with the youngest two. I told my Dad to tell them that I said Goodnight and I love you one evening and he replied that the youngest forgot who I was. I hope that’s not true, but it shatters my heart.

    I am guilty of not being around for my brothers. There will always be times when they need me, but I am not there. Interestingly, I am a kindergarten teacher, surrounded by young children, teaching them and giving them my love, yet I don’t do this for the two children whom I share a father with.

    How do I deal with this guilt?

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  • 86

    If I wait for you to call me I’ll never hear from you
    But when you’re here you’re too much
    And I pray for you to go away
    To leave
    To not exist

    This is hard
    Love is hard
    It makes you question whether this is even love
    Because its painful
    And you never get what you want

    I am sick
    So sick
    I am sick I am sick
    I want more
    But why can I not be happy with what I already have?
    Which is myself

    Read More