Spiders are crawling out of my eyes. There are cactuses knotted in my hair. I haven’t showered in 6 days. There’s food on the floor and daddy roaches are slithering around for scraps. I saw an ant get eaten by another ant. I’m dreaming about sucking on your tongue and swallowing your morning breath. I’m nasty filthy longing for you. I thought you would stay, but all you do is walk away.
I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my entire life!
And I have to pretend like I don’t want it!
Because every time I ask
I get another stab
Or hand around my neck
You are not my companion
You are my murderer
For all the pain that you see in my writing, know that I experienced two-fold the amount of love and happiness. Relationships are beautiful because they cause you to feel. Break-ups are amazing because you can turn every inch of suffering into wisdom and growth. This is my third major break-up. It’s funny because we always ask why is this happening and believe that that person was our one true soulmate. I think so, but we have more than one. And, always, the next one we meet is better than the last. I’m walking alone again and it feels right. I’ve finally reached that place where I am not looking back on the past so much, longing, or questioning. I am healing. I have written so much about this break up as it has put gasoline on my creative fire. So, to my ex, thank you, I love you, and I release you.
Here are 8 of my favorite pieces:
The most painful memory is the one where I had my arms wrapped around your neck. Looking up at you because you’re so tall and you said to me while the music hummed behind your voice that you wanted to be with me forever. I love your eyes and kissing you. Your words were the glow that brightened the fact that I wasn’t just building a house, I was building a sky scraper in my heart. But slowly you began removing the doors, then the windows, the stairs, and all the metal. Leaving only a pile of crumbled cement. That fleeting moment of love, labeled with eternal, revealed itself to be just a story of how a great big tower came to be destroyed.
I’ve spent so much time wishing
For a cloud in the sky
A ghost in the attic
I don’t want storms
Or to be hauntedRead More