Poems For My Ex

Preface

For all the pain that you see in my writing, know that I experienced two-fold the amount of love and happiness. Relationships are beautiful because they cause you to feel. Break-ups are amazing because you can turn every inch of suffering into wisdom and growth. This is my third major break-up. It’s funny because we always ask why is this happening and believe that that person was our one true soulmate. I think so, but we have more than one. And, always, the next one we meet is better than the last. I’m walking alone again and it feels right. I’ve finally reached that place where I am not looking back on the past so much, longing, or questioning. I am healing. I have written so much about this break up as it has put gasoline on my creative fire. So, to my ex, thank you, I love you, and I release you.
Here are 8 of my favorite pieces:

#1

The most painful memory is the one where I had my arms wrapped around your neck. Looking up at you because you’re so tall and you said to me while the music hummed behind your voice that you wanted to be with me forever. I love your eyes and kissing you. Your words were the glow that brightened the fact that I wasn’t just building a house, I was building a sky scraper in my heart. But slowly you began removing the doors, then the windows, the stairs, and all the metal. Leaving only a pile of crumbled cement. That fleeting moment of love, labeled with eternal, revealed itself to be just a story of how a great big tower came to be destroyed.

#2

I’ve spent so much time wishing
For a cloud in the sky
A ghost in the attic
But truly
I don’t want storms
Or to be haunted

#3

I’ve found truth
In loving people exactly as they are
Because we cannot control
When snow will turn to rain
All we can do is
Move away
If we so find
That we cannot
Be buried by the blizzard any longer

#4

It’s not my job to stay while he fumbles around with the healing
To open his throat
Because he can’t find a way to swallow the medicine
It’s my job to walk away when his wounds
Start spitting bullets at my heart

#5

I hate and I love
But soon I’ll
Feel nothing at all
And today I’ve
Stopped asking why

#6

For all the love that you’ve poured on me
I’ve given back
And for as much as you’ve killed me
You’ve taken life from yourself

#7

She takes back her colors
And returns what he gave her
Her tulips grow more yellow
His ocean
More blue

#8

Little by little
I release you
To the wind
Like ashes
To the earth
Like rain
You’re suffocating my heart
No room
To breathe fresh air
You are poison
Which tastes sweet
I’m emptying my veins now
There’s no space for you anymore
I release you

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